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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952545">A Letter to Say Goodbye</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabyu/pseuds/Isabyu'>Isabyu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>L.A. By Night (Web Series), Vampire: The Masquerade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Annabelle mention, Nelli G mention, Sad, Victor Temple mention, X mention</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:49:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabyu/pseuds/Isabyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eva quickly writes a letter to Jasper: she is trying to explain her choices.<br/>Will Jasper read it before it's too late?<br/>Set at the end of Season 4<br/>SPOILERS if you haven't seen the season finale I guess.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eva &amp; Jasper Heartwood, Eva/Jasper Heartwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Letter to Say Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadiankazz/gifts">canadiankazz</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Eva writes the letter just before Nelli's party at the Roosevelt Hotel, during the same night.</p>
<p>Sorry: this is a bit short and sad.<br/>I was so bummed there wasn't enough time to explore this.<br/>Also I loved all the raw emotions they showed in the last episode and epilogues!<br/>Amazing acting.</p>
<p>A gift to Canadiankazz, hoping to help with the writers block and as a thank you for the encouragement before publishing this: my first fic!</p>
<p>All comments welcome.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jasper is getting ready in the other room, he is looking for something that will make him appear put together and to Nelli's standard, whatever that means.<br/>
His head is the only part of skin that is uncovered and the black veins are designing a pattern that complements his black and red outfit, making him look more wicked than usual and somewhat... stylishly impressive, one might say.</p>
<p>Eva is struggling with her decision. She has to do it. It takes all that she has to go through with her plan... but she is asking for one last night. Something to remember, to take away with her for all the lonely, desperate nights to follow.<br/>
She is checking all the details: she has her necklace and she got the new ring in her purse. No blood, no past inscriptions, no magic. This is just for the two of them.<br/>
They have found some blue flowers, not the bunch of roses Victor wanted, still: they look pretty.</p>
<p>As all of these thoughts pass through her mind, Eva realises she will not have the strength to be making sense face to face, or his eyes will ask her not to do it.<br/>
So a letter it is... cowardly move. It will have to do, for now...</p>
<p>She leaves it on the coffee table, between two books, slightly hidden, so that he won't notice until... after.</p>
<p>"Dear Jasper,<br/>
Can you forgive me?<br/>
I know you asked me not to leave again… I didn’t promise you I would never, but it all the same feels like I am breaking your trust.<br/>
I will ask Victor and Nelli to keep you from coming after me, because I know they will understand what I mean, and I know they will have had the means to do so.<br/>
Please be kind with them as you are with me… they are trying really hard. They both made mistakes in their life and their unlife, but I can see they are not inherently bad. Try harder with Nelli, she cares deeply about you and about me, who knows why, she is not driven just by power and effectiveness or “the higher purpose”. She does things out of love, if we can still do that…<br/>
I forgave Victor for messing with my head. Initially I didn’t want to. You know.<br/>
Then I saw what he meant and I know he will try to be better and I know I was being the sith queen, whatever he meant by that… point is our discussion made me realise I need to sort this mess out myself. His intermission could have gone differently: he came down here with us to help, in the end, and that is what he tried to do.<br/>
I am sorry to run away on this night,  I just wanted to spend some time in your company, yours and all of the others as well, to have some fun before leaving and to be in the moment, not worry for a couple hours… I hope you will understand this.<br/>
I never wanted to hurt you, but I know I am.<br/>
Take Annabelle up on her offer to talk about “girl problems”. She is young but she has a depth of emotions that is hard to come by in our kind… I am afraid to say I did taste it in her blood.<br/>
And talking might help you. I know you don’t really do that, but… whatever, who am I to tell you what to do, more so now.<br/>
You know I would have had to talk to Katya… and I did.<br/>
I didn’t tell you when it happened, because I didn’t want to make you angrier and again put yourself in harm’s way. I see now I should have: she told I was wrong hiding this from you, can you believe?<br/>
Anyways this is important just because she offered me a way in. Not to go back into the ranks, of course. She needs the order the Camarilla offers, for herself, so she will never join us, anarchs or otherwise. However, she still is interested in power and she does not really need Strauss to be around per se… I cannot give you too many details now.<br/>
I will try to contact you while I am there, but I cannot promise when and how often.<br/>
Also, I won’t hide from you how risky this is, I won’t insult your intelligence. I will do all that is in my power to come back to you, I don’t have to think it over: that is my first desire and what is giving purpose to my non-life now. I thought it was revenge… thanks to you it’s not. You saved me, multiple times: you saved my dead body and this shred of soul I think I have left.<br/>
When you gave me that necklace… I don’t know how much you know about jasper stones… I think you did your research though. You gave me healing, nurturing and support. I couldn’t ask for more. It was all I needed.<br/>
I am now free to do what I need to preserve you from his twisted and ancient ways.<br/>
We will be free, one way or another.<br/>
Please, please forgive me.<br/>
I love you so much.<br/>
E."</p>
<p>She is right: he doesn't notice.<br/>
He doesn't notice for days... he is not in the mood for books and research... he feels like smashing things and cutting people.<br/>
Keeping the promise he made her is hard. So hard. And their blood is just so good. The last drop, satiating his Beast, giving him peace for once...</p>
<p>He fights, that is what he feels like. And after his rage is dispersed a bit, he needs to focus on something else.<br/>
He tries to help X, because he will not break this promise as well, he will not leave him, he will help his friend. Yes, friend.<br/>
X needs his help and this is what he will do, even if it costs him his life.</p>
<p>Those things he thought he had to live for... well they are not there anymore, are they?</p>
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